Surviving the System Together

Feb 11
3 min read

Updated: Feb 12

By: Jaia Robinson

“It’s funny to talk to you about it because you get it”

- Amanda Brumfield speaking to Stephanie Spurgeon

As we celebrate Galentine’s Day on February 13th, we’re reminded that love isn’t limited to romance. It lives in friendships, shared laughter, late-night talks, and the people who show up for us again and again. Galentine’s Day honors connection, joy, and the enduring power of sisterhood. On a day centered around community, we recognize that love and kinship can persist despite injustice. Even behind bars, people build friendships and sisterhoods, reclaiming care and humanity where it is so often denied.

Amanda Brumfield was convicted of aggravated manslaughter in the 2008 death of her best friend’s infant daughter in what was later recognized as a tragic accident. Stephanie Spurgeon was convicted of manslaughter after an infant became unresponsive following her first day in Spurgeon’s care. In both cases, grief, assumption, and flawed interpretation replaced evidence, resulting in decades-long sentences for crimes neither woman committed.

Stephanie with her children this year in Tampa

It was inside prison that the two women found one another. Both wrongfully convicted, both mothers, and both grieving lives taken from them by the same system, their bond grew from a shared understanding few others could truly offer. In a place designed to strip people of their identity and reduce them to numbers, their friendship became an anchor to normalcy. It reminded them who they were beyond their charges and inmate numbers, through moments as simple as comparing cooking skills or sharing memories of motherhood. Through stories of loss, resilience, and hope, they built a chosen sisterhood that provided care, stability, and emotional survival.

Neither Amanda nor Stephanie were ever formally exonerated. Both women accepted plea deals that ensured they would be released and would not face retrial by the state. That reality underscores one of the many complicated dynamics of post-conviction litigation: freedom sometimes comes at the cost of full legal vindication. For many wrongfully convicted people, especially those who have already endured years behind bars, the certainty of going home can outweigh the risk of continued litigation, even when they maintain their innocence.

Amanda and Stephanie’s story exists within a broader and deeply troubling reality. The United States incarcerates more people than any other country in the world, with women making up nearly 10 percent of the prison population. Wrongful convictions are not rare, and although women are often overlooked in conversations about mass incarceration, they are profoundly affected. Over the past three decades, women have accounted for roughly 9 percent of all exonerations in the United States, nearly 300 women whose lives were upended by injustice. Like so many others, Amanda and Stephanie endured years of separation, emotional trauma, and loss. Yet their ability to form and sustain relationships, with each other and with fellow incarcerated women, became essential to surviving that harm.

Amanda with her partner after her release in 2020

Wrongfully convicted and incarcerated, they endured profound isolation and separation from their families. Yet within that harsh environment, their friendship, along with the support of other women around them, became a lifeline. Through shared understanding, care, and small acts of kindness, they found moments of normalcy and humanity, proving that relationships forged in adversity can sustain hope and resilience. Their story illustrates a larger truth: people thrive when they support one another, whether behind bars, rebuilding after trauma, or simply navigating the everyday challenges of the world. Community, empathy, and kinship are not luxuries, they are essential.

This Galentine’s Day, let Amanda and Stephanie’s story remind us of the power of people supporting each other. Even in the hardest circumstances, their friendship gave them strength, hope, and a sense of self. Love isn’t just romantic, it’s the care, laughter, and solidarity we offer each other. Even behind bars, in its truest form, love endures.